The rules printed this way were modified by the Great Nagus Zek while being influenced by the Prophets
| 1) | Once you have their money, never give it back. |
| 1) | If they want their money back, give it to them. |
| 2) | You can't cheat an honest customer, but it never hurts to try. |
| 2) | His money is only yours when he can't get it back. |
| 3) | Never pay more for an acquisition than you have to. |
| 3) | I found it; it's mine. |
| 4) | Sex and profit are the two things that never last long enough. |
| 4) | A woman wearing clothes is like a man in the kitchen. |
| 5) | If you can't break a contract, bend it. |
| 6) | Never let family stand in the way of opportunity. |
| 7) | Always keep your ears open. |
| 8) | Keep count of your change. |
| 8) | Only a fool passes up a business opportunity. |
| 8) | Small print leads to large risk. |
| 9) | Opportunity plus instinct equals profit. |
| 10) | A dead customer can't buy as much as a live one. |
| 10) | Greed is eternal. |
| 10) | Greed is dead. |
| 11) | Latinum isn't the only thing that shines. |
| 11) | small lobe |
| 12) | Anything worth selling is worth selling twice. |
| 13) | Anything worth doing is worth doing for money. |
| 14) | Anything stolen is pure profit. |
| 15) | Acting stupid is often smart. |
| 16) | A Deal is a deal (until a better once comes along). |
| 17) | A bargain usually isn't. |
| 17) | A contract is a contract is a contract...but only between Ferengi. |
| 18) | Beware of relatives bearing gifts. |
| 18) | A Ferengi without profit is no Ferengi at all. |
| 19) | Don't lie too soon after a promotion. |
| 19) | Satisfaction is not guaranteed. |
| 20) | Only give money to people you know you can steal from. |
| 20) | When the customer is sweating, turn up the heat. |
| 21) | Never place friendship above profit. |
| 21) | Never place profit before friendship. |
| 22) | Wise men can hear profit in the wind. |
| 22) | Latinum tarnishes, but family is forever. |
| 23) | Money can never replace dignity. |
| 23) | Never take the last coin, but be sure to get all the rest. |
| 24) | Latinum can't buy happiness, but you can sure have a blast renting it. |
| 25) | There's always a way out. |
| 25) | Fear makes a good business partner. |
| 26) | The vast majority of the rich in this galaxy did not inherit their wealth; they stole it. |
| 26) | As the customers go, so goes the wise profiteer. |
| 27) | There's nothing more dangerous than an honest businessman. |
| 27) | The most beautiful thing about a tree is what you do with it after you cut it down. |
| 28) | Morality is always defined by those in power. |
| 29) | It's not the money, |
| 29) | What’s in it for me. |
| 30) | Talk is cheap; synthehol costs money. |
| 31) | Never make fun of a mother Ferengi's (...insult something he cares about, instead). |
| 32) | Be careful what you sell. It may do exactly what the customer expects. |
| 33) | It never hurts to suck up to the boss. |
| 34) | Compassion is no substitute for profit. |
| 34) | War is good for business. |
| 35) | Peace is good for business. |
| 35) | You could afford your ship without your government--if it weren't for your government. |
| 36) | Too many Ferengi can't laugh at themselves anymore. |
| 37) | You can always buy back a lost reputation. |
| 37) | If it’s free, take it and worry about hidden costs later. |
| 38) | Free advertising is cheap. |
| 39) | Praise is cheap. Heap it generously on all customers. |
| 39) | Friendship is temporary; profit is forever. |
| 40) | She can touch your lobes, but never your Latinum. |
| 40) | If you see profit on a journey, take it. |
| 41) | Money talks, but having lots of it gets more attention. |
| 41) | Profit is its own reward. |
| 42) | What's mine is mine, and what's yours is mine too. |
| 42) | Only negotiate when you are certain to profit. |
| 43) | Caressing an ear is often more forceful than pointing a weapon. |
| 44) | Never argue with a loaded phaser. |
| 44) | Never confuse wisdom with luck. |
| 45) | Ambition knows no family. |
| 45) | Profit has limits. Loss has none. |
| 46) | Labor camps are full of people who trusted the wrong person. |
| 46) | Make your shop easy to find. |
| 47) | Never trust a man wearing a better suit than your own. |
| 48) | The bigger the smile, the sharper the knife. |
| 49) | Old age and gree will always overcome youth and talent. |
| 49) | Everything is worth something to somebody. |
| 50) | Gratitude can bring on generosity. |
| 50) | Never bluff a Klingon. |
| 51) | Never admit a mistake if they're someone else to blame. |
| 51) | Reward anyone who adds to your profits so they will continue to do so. |
| 52) | Never ask when you can take. |
| 53) | Sell first; ask questions later. |
| 54) | Never buy anything you can't sell. |
| 55) | Always sell at the highest possible profit. |
| 56) | Pursue profit; women come later. |
| 57) | Good customers are a rare as latinum--treasure them. |
| 58) | Friendship is seldom cheap. |
| 58) | There is no substitute for success. |
| 59) | Free advice is seldom cheap. |
| 60) | Never use credit where your words will do. |
| 60) | Let's you and him fight. |
| 60) | Keep your lies consistent. |
| 61) | Never buy what can be stolen. |
| 62) | The riskier the road, the higher the profit. |
| 63) | Power without profit is like a ship without an engine. |
| 64) | Don't talk shop; talk shopping. |
| 65) | Don't talk ship; talk shipping. |
| 65) | Win or lose, there's always Huyperian beetle snuff. |
| 65) | Huyperian beetle snuff may be fun for you and me, but it's no fun for the beetles. |
| 66) | Anyone serving in a fleet who is crazy can be relieved, if they ask for it. |
| 67) | Anyone asking to be relieved is not crazy and must be forced to serve. |
| 68) | Ear stroking will get you anything. |
| 69) | Ferengi are not responsible for the stupidity of other races. |
| 70) | Get the money first, then let the buyers worry about collecting the merchandise. |
| 71) | There's a customer born every minute. |
| 72) | Never trust your customers. |
| 73) | If it gets you profit, sell your ow n mother. |
| 75) | Home is where the heart is, but the stars are made of Latinum |
| 76) | Every once in a while, declare peace. It confuses the hell out of your enemies. |
| 77) | It's better to swallow your pride than to lose your profit. |
| 79) | Beware of the Vulcan greed for knowledge. |
| 82) | The flimsier the product, the higher the price. |
| 84) | A friend is not a friend if he asks for a discount. |
| 85) | Never let the competition know what you're thinking. |
| 87) | A friend in need means three times the profit. |
| 87) | Learn the customer's weaknesses so you can better take advantage of him. |
| 89) | Ask not what your profits can do for you; ask what you can do for your profits. |
| 92) | There are many paths to profit. |
| 94) | Females and finances don't mix. |
| 95) | Expand or die. |
| 96) | For every Rule, there is an equal and opposite Rule (except when there‘s not). |
| 97) | Enough... is never enough. |
| 98) | Act without delay! The sharp knife cuts quickly. |
| 98) | Every mn has his price. |
| 99) | Trust is the biggest liability of all. |
| 100) | If they take your first offer, you either asked too little or offered too mutch. |
| 101) | The only value of a collectible is what you can get somebody else to pay for it. |
| 101) | Never do something you can make someone do for you. |
| 102) | Nature decays, but latinum lasts forever. |
| 103) | Sleep can interfere [cut] with opportunity. |
| 103) | Fill a desparate need with your most expensive product, then mark it up 500%. |
| 104) | Money is never made. It is merely won or lost. |
| 104) | Faith moves mountains... of inventory. |
| 105) | Don't trust anyone who trusts you. |
| 106) | There is no honor in poverty. |
| 109) | Dignity and an empty sack is worth the sack. |
| 111) | Never sleep with the boss' wife unless you pay him first. |
| 111) | Treat people in your debt like family--exploit them. |
| 112) | Never sleep with the boss' sister. |
| 113) | Always have sex with the boss. |
| 116) | There's always a catch. |
| 117) | You can't free a fish from water. |
| 119) | Never judge a customer by the size of his wallet (...sometimes, good things come in small packages). |
| 119) | Buy, sell, or get out of the way. |
| 121) | Everything is for sale, including friendship. |
| 123) | Even a blind man can recognize the glow of Latinum. |
| 123) | A friend is only a friend until you sell him something. Then he is customer. |
| 125) | Count it. |
| 135) | Never trust a beneficiary. |
| 138) | Law makes everyone equal, but justice goes to the highest bidder. |
| 139) | Wives serve; brothers inherit. |
| 141) | Only fools pay retail. |
| 144) | There's nothing wrong with charity... as long as it winds up in your pocket. |
| 148) | Opportunity waits for no one. |
| 153) | Sell the sizzle, not the steak. |
| 162) | Even in the worst of times, someone turns a profit. |
| 164) | Never spend your own money when you can spend someone else's. |
| 169) | Competition and fair play are mutually exclusive. |
| 172) | If you can sell it, don't hesitate to steal it. |
| 177) | Know your enemies... but do business with them always. |
| 180) | Never offer a confession when a bribe will do. |
| 181) | Not even dishonesty can tarnish the shine of profit. |
| 188) | Never bet on a race you haven't fixed. |
| 189) | Borrow on a handshake; lend in writing. |
| 189) | Let others keep their reputation. You keep their money. |
| 190) | Hear everything; trust nothing. |
| 191) | A Ferengi waits to bid until his opponents have exhausted themselves. |
| 192) | Never cheat a Klingon... unless you're sure you can get away with it. |
| 194) | It's always good business to know about new customers before they walk in your door. |
| 200) | If you're going to have to endure, make yourself comfortable. |
| 202) | The justification of profit is profit. |
| 202) | A friend in need is a customer in the making. |
| 203) | New customers are like razor toothed gree worms,they can be succulent, but sometimes they bite back. |
| 208) | Give someone a fish, you feed him for one day. Teach him how to fish, and you lose a steady customer. |
| 208) | Sometimes the only thing more dangerous than the question is an answer. |
| 211) | Employees are the rungs on the ladder to success. Don't hesitate to step on them. |
| 214) | Never begin a business transaction on an empty stomach. |
| 215) | Instinct without opportunity is useless. |
| 216) | Never gamble with an empath. |
| 217) | You can't free a fish from water. |
| 218) | Sometimes what you get free costs entirely too much. |
| 218) | Always know the competition. |
| 219) | Always know what you're buying. |
| 219) | Possession is 11/10 of the law. |
| 221) | Beware of any man who thinks with his lobes. |
| 222) | Knowledge is power. |
| 223) | Beware the man who doesn't make time for oo-mox. |
| 229) | Latinum lasts longer than lust. |
| 236) | You can't buy fate. |
| 239) | Never be afraid to mislabel a product. |
| 242) | More is good... all is better. |
| 253) | Synthehol is the lubricant of choice for a customer's stuck purse. |
| 255) | A wife is a luxury... a smart accountant, a necessity. |
| 261) | A wealthy man can afford anything except a conscience. |
| 263) | Never allow doubt to tarnish your lust for latinum. |
| 265) | The customer is always right (...until you 'Rules of Netquisition' get their cash). |
| 266) | When in doubt, lie. |
| 267) | When not in doubt, lie anyway. |
| 281) | Blood is thicker than water, but harder to sell. |
| 282) | Business is like war; it's important to recognize the winner. |
| 283) | Rules are always subject to change. |
| 284) | Rules are always subject to interpretation. |
| 284) | Deep down, everyone's a Ferengi. |
| 285) | No good deed ever goes unpunished. |
| 285) | A good deed is its own reward. |
| 286) | When Morn leaves, it's all over. |
| 286) | You can always buy back lost reputation. |
| 287) | When the Grand Nagus gives you an opportunity, leave town until he's gone. |
| 299) | Whenever you exploit someone, it never hurts to thanks them. (That way, it's easier to exploit them the next time.) |
| ?. | The more time they take deciding, the more money they will spend. |
| ?. | The greater (the) amount you are taking from someone, the greater the distraction must be. |
| ?. | One person's secret is another person's opportunity. |
| ?. | The hand that holds the latinum may also hide a dagger. |
| ?. | You can tell a great deal about a man from his shoes. |
| ?. | Time's an asset. |
| ?. | Your goods are now my goods. |
| ?. | Exploitation begins at home. |
| ?. | When you see a good deal, jump on it. |
| ?. | A Ferengi without a head for business has no future. |
| ?. | Business is business, even among friends. |
| ?. | Everything has a price. |
| ?. | When no appropriate Rule applies, make one up. (The unwritten rule) [Example: When the messenger comes to appropriate your profits, kill the messenger.] |
50) If a deal is fairly and lawfully made, then seeking revenge especially unprofitable revenge,
is illegal.
This is a rule mentioned in the Star Trek: The Next Generation series when Daimon Bok wants revenge for the killing of his son during the famous battle which
Picard won using a Warp-speed maneuver.
I think this is the most complete collection of the Ferengi Rules available.